When last did you use your avo slicer? Pizza cutter? Apple segmenter? Think back. Think really hard. Have you used it since the two weeks after you bought it? Invariably, the answer is no. I know I most certainly haven’t used my pizza cutter in a while. Though no-one I know seems to use these things much, we all have bottomless kitchen clutter drawers filled with just this kind stuff.
There are so many useless kitchen gadgets in the world. Usually they’re expensive, only have one use, are difficult to clean, and just generally clutter up the kitchen. Most often, you just simply don’t need them. Why use a garlic crusher when you can simply grate or slice your garlic? Why use an apple segmenter when you can much more easily just slice it with a knife? Who invented these products, and how on earth did they sell anything?
Mostly, I feel, they are sold to those not quite steady on their feet in the kitchen. Kitchen gadgetry most often preys on ignorance, uncertainty, and the desire to be better in the kitchen. Ads usually go something like this, “Are you struggling with your knife skills? It’s difficult and dangerous for you to learn! Why not use the Twister Chopper, and never have to struggle with knives again!”
But did Julia Child ever have a Twister Chopper, you think? No, she didn’t, and she did fine. She didn’t even have an apple segmenter. But you’re not Julia Child, you know that, and the gadget companies know that, and that’s how they sell you everything from a useless apple corer to an expensive Twister Chopper – they convince you that you are useless and will never be able to learn to cook properly, or be a Julia in the kitchen without the help of their product.
The thing is, Julia Child wasn’t always the Julia Child – she was just a normal woman, inexperienced in the kitchen. More inexperienced than was normal, actually. When she got married and started cooking, she could barely boil an egg. But instead of buying shortcut gadgets which claimed to make her life easier, she went to Le Cordon Bleu and learnt the skills of a chef. Of course I’m not saying we should all go to chef school, but it seems worth it to learn basic kitchen skills rather than just trying to get around them.
For the most part gadgets just waste money, and distract from what you really should be spending your money on in the kitchen: quality. For example, for just a little more than a Twister Chopper, you can invest in a really good chef’s knife. They’re expensive, but they really are a good investment. A good chef’s knife will last almost a lifetime (or longer – I still have a knife that my granny bought, and it’s one of my favourites). Good pots with a heavy, copper base will last you much longer than their tinny aluminium counterparts. Thought they’re about double the price, they’ll last triple the time, and make cooking a much more pleasant (and less charred) experience. So quality over gadgetry seems the way to go.
But not all gadgets are absolutely worthless. There are actually some very useful gadgets around which do actually make your life easier, silicon tart moulds not being one of them. A rice maker is a wonderful thing – cooking your rice to perfection (I still don’t know how it knows that the rice is done, I actually think it might be magic), and then keeping it warm for as long as you need without burning it. A thermometer completes a kitchen, helping you make everything from fudge to caramel to a rare steak. Checking the actual internal temperature of meat seems much more scientific than poking it until it feels like the bottom part of your thumb. A microplane seems like a useless piece of trendy rubbish when at first you see it, but actually, it zests lemons like nobody’s business, and is really useful for grating hard cheeses like parmesan finely. There are lots of really useful gadgets in the kitchen, I really could go on for a good long while about them, but they are hidden amongst piles of the most useless things you’ll come across (which you know I could go on about too).
So, how do you tell the difference between a good investment, a useful gadget and a piece of garbage? Use your common sense and trust yourself – know that you really can use a knife, you don’t need a Twister Chopper. Don’t let companies trick you into wasting your time, money and space, and invest in quality and innovation instead.
mediagourmand 